The Present

The echoes of my regrets seem to go off at an alarming rate at times. I find myself getting stuck somewhere between the “what if’s” and the “maybe’s.” It never seems to do me any good holding on to what was or what could be. Yet, somehow some way, my mind still manages to drift toward the things outside of my control. Have you ever felt like you were racing against time? Have you ever felt like if you don’t reach a certain milestone by a certain time you’re a failure? I know I’ve felt this multiple times and it’s not easy to just fight off. One of the biggest problems with over thinking is you start to critique yourself too hard. You forget to be patient with yourself.

My lack of patience could be explained by the generational curses I’m trying to break. It could be a culmination of feeling the weight of my ancestors combined with the weight of future generations. When you feel like you’re the chosen one, things can get difficult. You decided to put the whole team on your back, and you forget you are still human. It’s a scary yet beautiful thing when others see the potential in you, that you’ve known about all along. It’s no surprise how you got to this standpoint in your life. A lot of sacrifice and a lot of hard work mixed together will always give results. Somewhere in the time continuum of my mind, I hear a distinct voice. The voice reminds me to be patient with myself. It reminds me where I was yesterday is not where I am today. These reminders put things into perspective, and they show me I have so much to be grateful for.

Life is such a fragile but beautiful thing. We all share the common destination of death. It does not matter who you are; no one will escape it. Your racing thoughts make you think the quantity of your years must be matched with numerous accomplishments. A wise person once said it is about quality over quantity. Strive every day to be the best you can be for that day. Don’t get caught up in the past, and don’t dwell in the future. Be present in the now. Focus on the things that you can control and everything else will fall into place. Fear not what tomorrow brings, for we first must conquer the battles of today.

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